Charlie, my dad, was a nice guy. He was quiet and wore his police uniform all the time. He had a porn stash. Not a stash of porn, because he didn’t really have sex. No National Geographic channel in Forks, I guessed. But he had a moustache that looked like the ones that porn stars have. No, I’d never seen porn, but I did watch VH-1 and that guy Ron Jeremy was on some reality show. Apparently, he was a porn star. And had a really huge… guy part. I shuddered because I didn’t think that a big guy part could make up for the fact that the girls starring in porns with him probably thought they were having sex with a troll doll stuck on a tree trunk. I guess everyone has different tastes though. If I were going to have sex with an imaginary creature, which I wouldn’t because I don’t have sex, although I do believe in mythical stuff, I would pick something cool or sexy. Like a vampire or a werewolf. Just not a unicorn because that would be sick.